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Fic: Take A Bow

September 30th, 2010 (03:09 am)
confused

How I feel: confused


Title: Take A Bow
Pairing: Jared/anyone (really not important, just hinted at) very slight Shannon/Tomo (wasn’t deliberate, and can easily be read as friendship, which was actually my intention).
Rating: Completely harmless
Warning: Death-fic, but not really a tear jerker. Contains a few swears.
Summary: The moment we get the recognition we always wanted, it feels hollow.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: Not true, I own nothing.
A/N: No idea what this is, either. I truly can’t explain this. It's horrible.

 

He died in a car accident.

A woman talking on her cell phone took a turn too fast and hit his bike; he died on the way to the hospital. No Hollywood worthy drug overdose. No heroic fight against cancer or some other disease. No drama. Just an ordinary death, for an ordinary man.

Just plain bad luck. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It could have happened to anyone. It does, people die on the road every fucking day. Jared was no different from any of them.

What surprised me were the reactions. Jared knew Hollywood well, he knew the music business. Was familiar with the hypocrisy and the ever changing moods of bloggers, interviewers, critics and talkshow hosts. They like you one week, when it’s fashionable. The next week, they are throwing you to the wolves and mocking your life’s work. Because they can.

He never really cared, never invested emotions in the game of the corporate money making machine also known as Hollywood. Was careful, so careful to never give them anything tangible. Kept his relationships secret and allowed the press to feed their own made up rumors and stories. He laughed behind their backs whenever a new exciting story about him fucking some new starlet came out of the woodwork. And then he went home and fell asleep next to another man. It was a joke to him; he loved riling them up, loved watching them choke on their own words and went out of his way to make them uncomfortable.

And then, he was dead.

Suddenly he was honorable. Suddenly their music went from being the laughing stock of every self-important blogger to being… incredible. It was considered epic and remarkable. Everyone was falling over themselves to be the first to declare This Is War the re-birth of The Wall. 30 Seconds To Mars went from being conceited and generic, to being innovative, groundbreaking and Grammy worthy.

I guess that is why I am here.

As I make my way to the stage to accept the Grammy for Album Of The fucking Year, I can feel myself dying a little inside. Tears sting in my eyes, but I know that this is neither the time nor the place. I can feel the pre-prepared ‘glowing with praise’ acceptance speech burn in my breast pocket. Tomo’s hand feels comfortable on the small of my back. He has been invaluable. I love that man and right now I honestly don’t think I could go on without him.

The glare of the lights make my eyes hurt and never have I been this reluctant to open my mouth in public. This was always Jared’s talent. Like a chameleon he could withstand the pressure of the glaring spotlight and play a thousand parts at the same time, could always make a joke or a witty remark on cue. I miss him so much.

The anger starts gnawing at me. I turn my head towards Tomo as the cold, heavy award is placed in my hands and he gives me a small nod, knowing something is brewing within me. Whatever I do, he will stand by me. With that knowledge secure in my heart I step up to the podium and with trembling hands take out the small speech and ceremonially rip it apart at the middle and throw it to the floor.

“Thank you – and congratulations to the music industry. You have truly proved your worth once more. I mean a pity Grammy? Now, who would have seen that coming? Everybody knows that This Is War is not the album of the year and that we aren’t the artists of the year either, although thanks for the nomination. I guess it would look noble and shit to give it to a dead guy, right? What is wrong with you people? Why do you need to put your artists on these impossibly high pedestals. His body wasn’t even cold before you did a completely 180 and started making him into a hero instead of letting him keep his dignity. A Hollywood hero was never something he desired to be. You are all hypocrites and I know saying it makes me sound like an ungrateful, angry old man, but right now I really don’t care. I’m fucking fed up with you. You never cared much for him or his music when he was alive, and that’s okay, he never really cared for all you critics, bloggers and Hollywood gold-diggers either. You were all a big joke to him. He only cared for the fans, the Echelon. You were like family to us and everything we have is yours. In fact it was always yours. And if you want this ridiculous piece of shit, you can have it, otherwise I’m going to chuck it out. Hollywood, you were the Kings and Queens of promise, but you truly became the victims of yourselves.”

He does not take note of the stunned silence he leaves behind as he makes his way off stage and towards the nearest exit of the auditorium. He hears, more than sees Tomo fall in step next to him and feels grateful for the silent support.

This dream is over.  

 

Comments

Posted by: legolastariel (legolastariel)
Posted at: October 13th, 2010 11:27 am (UTC)
JayShan

OMG! I'm typing blind here because there are more than a few f**king tears in my eyes. This is so beautiful!! You found just the right words to make it touching without making it drip with sentiment, which is why in fact it IS a tearjerker.
Way to go, Shannon! I can so perfectly picture him telling them all of and they'd deserve it. I think you depicted their personalities wonderfully - at least it matches the way I picture them to see the world, which of course none of us can never know for sure without knowing them.
I love this story!

Posted by: Kayden (bouncinggoat)
Posted at: October 13th, 2010 07:58 pm (UTC)
Jared Leto

Wow. Thank you so much, love! *blushes hard*
This is hands down the best review I've ever gotten and I love you for supplying it. It just came to me while walking my cat and I had to stop in the middle of nowhere to write it down on my iPhone, because I was too far away from home :)
And I really see Shannon as protective of Jared and wary of the Hollywood'ers trying to mess with his little bro in any way. And I can't imagine the fakeness appealing to him in any way. (and I've always loathed how HW always glorify dead for being dead!)

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You rock!

Posted by: legolastariel (legolastariel)
Posted at: October 13th, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC)
JayShan

Wow back. I've never had anyone appreciate a comment as much as you just did. And you are so welcome. Actually I just told you what I felt while reading it and I can't believe you think it's not a tearjerker. I mean, hey, Jared is dead! And the simple sentence I miss him so much did it for me. I'm writing blind again just now ... But that may just be me. Like I said - I'm a terrible sissy and Miss Fluff. :)) But I still say you found just the right balance to make it emotional, but not overly sappy. And Shannon is definitely my hero here. All in all I thought both of their characters was perfectly described - they match the way I see them, too, so it was very realistic, which made it all the more a hard pill to swallow.
However, I love it!

Posted by: Kayden (bouncinggoat)
Posted at: October 15th, 2010 05:30 pm (UTC)
Jared Leto

:D
I gotta say that personally I have a big weakness for the angsty fics, show me a good deathfic and I'll cry my heart out and squee at the same time. I love the range of emotion some authors are able to capture through those kinds of scenarios.

Thanks babe, I'm pleased that you felt it was a success. It was a tricky fic to write for me. I didn't really have a lot to go on and it was very impulsive (which is probably why Shannon was so impulsive as well. lol.)
Shannon seems like the unsung hero to me in a lot of different regards. It's obvious that the connection between the brothers is really strong and I honestly think they would be lost without the other (the reason i have started to delve deeper and deeper into Letocest, it just gets to me! It's fucking beautiful and i have general weakness for all kinds brocest stories...)

Thanks again. You really made me feel good about having posted this fic. I was really unsure about it for long and I felt it never really landed anywhere, but your love really made up for it! xD

Posted by: legolastariel (legolastariel)
Posted at: October 15th, 2010 06:17 pm (UTC)
JayShan

Angsty fics are my favorite. As much as I love fluff, there is nothing more intriguing than an angsty story - blood, sweat and tears, you know. xD But quite frankly I'd prefer it if it's got a happy ending. I do read death fics once in a while when I'm in the mood to cry my eyes out, but they never leave a good feeling actually, even if they are sensitively and well written.

I totally agree - Shannon does stand a little in Jared's shadow, but their bond is so strong that they rely on each other immensely, and I guess Shan is a huge support for Jared.

I honestly think they would be lost without the other
Agree!!
But that's as far as our unanimity goes, my dear. Letocest or any other brocest is a total and complete NO GO for me. Sorry. I've read two shorter stories to know what I'm talking about and it just doesn't work for me at all. That's where I reach my limit. For me there's a line I will not cross, but there is no accounting for taste. I don't judge anyone who loves it - it's just my POV. I don't like mpreg stories either, yet there are enough people who love them. There's a lobby for everything. After all, we slashers have to justify us just for pairing men up that in RL don't have a love relationship and many people don't understand why we're doing this.

Did you ever post your story anywhere else? You didn't have any feedback and I wonder why. It's really good. You should try it on JaredSlash for instance. But that's your decision. I just think it's wonderful.

Posted by: Kayden (bouncinggoat)
Posted at: October 20th, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
Jared Leto

Shan is a huge support for Jared. I concur. Without Shannon, Jared would have lost his head in Hollywood awhile ago I believe. His brother keeps him grounded. I can imagine Shannon being the one to call Jared out whenever he crosses the line. That's what brothers do! :D

No brocest for you? LOL! xD I cannot help but love it. But only in some brotherly relations. For example, I don't feel comfortable with Elladan/Elrohir at all, or other LOTR brocest's. But in some fandoms like Supernatural or Charmed it's just appropriate. I think incest turns up in a lot of fandoms becuase we slasher's are a jealous bunch. When we can't find someone to pair up with our favorite characters, we have to pair them up with their own family, rather than create an OMC or something. Some fandoms just don't have enough hot male characters, or they are (in)convineiently related XD
Mpreg is not for me either, it is just too wierd!

I have no idea why I started either, but I do know that I never want to stop. I cannot imagine not doing it. I love being a part of fandoms and meeting new interesting people *nudge, nudge* :))))

Posted by: Kayden (bouncinggoat)
Posted at: October 20th, 2010 07:19 pm (UTC)

oh btw. I'm pretty sure I posted it on Jaredslash, where it got an okay reception (although it definitely couldn't beat your's ;)) but nowhere else

Posted by: nessamelda (nesamelda)
Posted at: February 19th, 2011 07:01 am (UTC)
eyes

Im not good at commenting but this is good, there's definitely a few tears lurking at the corner of my eyes when I read this.

Posted by: Kayden (bouncinggoat)
Posted at: April 23rd, 2011 10:27 pm (UTC)

I really appreciate you commenting! I'm glad you like it!

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